Showing posts with label twins. Show all posts
Showing posts with label twins. Show all posts

Friday, January 05, 2007

A debate about older mothers

There's a great little debate going on over at Citizen of the Month about the woman in Barcelona who just gave birth to twins at 67. (by IVF obviously).

I, as well as others, fell pretty strongly that this was selfish on so many levels on the part of the mother. But Neil at Citizen of the Month wants to know why it is selfish when no one says anything if a 70 year old man fathers a child.

Double Standard? Yes.

But there are so many realities in place here:
  • women are often the primary caregivers for young children (except in my house and a rare few others)
  • At 67 it is unrealistic to think that this woman will be a part of her children's lives as long as say, if she were 37.

And having been through the whole IVF thing personally, I want to know what doctor in their right mind agreed to this? Apparently she had it done somewhere in Latin America but REALLY... this doctor needs to have his or her license revoked.

Is there no code of ethics? Did no one think this might not be such a good idea?

But was it her right to do.... grudgingly, I have to say yes.

Others are commenting that she had the right to do whatever she wants with her body and while there are few people who are more Pro-Choice than me... I have to disagree here. She did not do this on her own. They were someone else's eggs (because, let's be realistic here...she is 67!!) And there was a fairly large team of experts making it all happen.

Being pregant with and caring for newborn twins zaps the stuffing out of even the most motivated of mothers...and no one is more motivated that someone who's been through many years of infertility (like me) AND YET... I still can't wrap my brain around setting out on that journey at 67.

What was she thinking??

There are no good answers.

Thursday, September 07, 2006

Kindergarten

Today, my twin girls went off to kindergarten. YIKES! When did I become the mother of 2 elementary school kids. Today, obviously...but still.

Five years. The time it takes to be old enough to go to kindergarten...and ironically, the time it took us to have them. It was a long, emotionally taxing (and financially draining) five years...followed by the physically exhausting five years to get to the point this morning of putting them on that bus. I'm aging just thinking about it.

I'm thankful every day for them and for my husband who is a wonderful father! There was a point in my life that I thought I would never be anyone's mother. But thanks to several teams of experts, the support and optimism of my husband and a little bit of luck... I got to send my two beautiful girls to kindergarten today.

I'm very lucky.