Wednesday, April 04, 2007

Everything for a reason

I'm not much of a poetry person... but this Robert Frost poem has always stuck with me...
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood
And sorry I could not travel both

My husband is a big fan of any movie with a time travel theme. Talk to him about space time continuums and the butterfly effect and he will poke a hole in every time travel movie out there. His favorite question on the topic is “Where did the watch come from?” referring to the Christopher Reeve/ Jane Seymour movie Somewhere in Time.

The idea that changing one detail sets up a domino effect is one I’ve thought of often. And while I’m so grateful for the life I have and people in it. I can’t help but wonder which things would be different if just one thing changed. My mom likes to use the “there by the grace of God go I” phrase here.

So in my life what would have happened if:
My parents had not divorced when I was 2…. I can’t even wrap my brain around that one. I’m mystifyied as to how they were ever together to begin with . But on the surface, my half-brothers wouldn’t exist. I wouldn’t have grown up where I did. Made the friends I did. Met my husband etc etc etc. The two people I feel closest to (outside of my family…you know who you are) wouldn’t have been a part of my life. .Or maybe they would have anyway. Who’s to say that while one decision effects all the others after it that the paths might not have crossed somewhere else down the road leading to the same end?

What if I had chosen a different college to attend? The one I ended up at was a last minute choice. I had pretty much decided on a different path when the acceptance came in to the school I ultimately chose. I certainly would have made different friends. I’d like to believe I would have had the same interests at school and chosen the same types of friends but that’s not nearly the same thing.

And what about the jobs I’ve had? What if I’d chosen (or been chosen for) another?

My husband and I have often joked about the party we both went to where we met again after knowing each other from years before. The one that led to us dating. Neither one of us was planning to attend that party. What if one of us hadn’t? Would we have ended up together anyway at some later date?

Details of our lives do not exist in a vacuum. So it’s impossible to think what would have happened if just one thing changed…. Because everything would have changed… and I wouldn’t go back and change a thing. Would you?

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference