Wednesday, April 04, 2007

Everything for a reason

I'm not much of a poetry person... but this Robert Frost poem has always stuck with me...
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood
And sorry I could not travel both

My husband is a big fan of any movie with a time travel theme. Talk to him about space time continuums and the butterfly effect and he will poke a hole in every time travel movie out there. His favorite question on the topic is “Where did the watch come from?” referring to the Christopher Reeve/ Jane Seymour movie Somewhere in Time.

The idea that changing one detail sets up a domino effect is one I’ve thought of often. And while I’m so grateful for the life I have and people in it. I can’t help but wonder which things would be different if just one thing changed. My mom likes to use the “there by the grace of God go I” phrase here.

So in my life what would have happened if:
My parents had not divorced when I was 2…. I can’t even wrap my brain around that one. I’m mystifyied as to how they were ever together to begin with . But on the surface, my half-brothers wouldn’t exist. I wouldn’t have grown up where I did. Made the friends I did. Met my husband etc etc etc. The two people I feel closest to (outside of my family…you know who you are) wouldn’t have been a part of my life. .Or maybe they would have anyway. Who’s to say that while one decision effects all the others after it that the paths might not have crossed somewhere else down the road leading to the same end?

What if I had chosen a different college to attend? The one I ended up at was a last minute choice. I had pretty much decided on a different path when the acceptance came in to the school I ultimately chose. I certainly would have made different friends. I’d like to believe I would have had the same interests at school and chosen the same types of friends but that’s not nearly the same thing.

And what about the jobs I’ve had? What if I’d chosen (or been chosen for) another?

My husband and I have often joked about the party we both went to where we met again after knowing each other from years before. The one that led to us dating. Neither one of us was planning to attend that party. What if one of us hadn’t? Would we have ended up together anyway at some later date?

Details of our lives do not exist in a vacuum. So it’s impossible to think what would have happened if just one thing changed…. Because everything would have changed… and I wouldn’t go back and change a thing. Would you?

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference


The Contessa said...

I LOVE thinking about things like this....

So profound and so crazy just thinking about what if?

Loving this post!!!! You rock Lisa!

wordgirl said...

I wonder what my life would be like if I hadn't transferred to the university from which I graduated? For sure, I wouldn't be married to the guy I'm with now and that would be awful. What if I had changed my major to Jouralism or Library Science? Would I still have a job? Would I have more options than I do now? The mind staggers at the possibilities.

Carmen said...

Hi Lisa,

I am contacting you regarding a blog survey I am conducting. I am a Ph.D. candidate in Mass Communication at Penn State and my dissertation project consists of a survey that looks at women bloggers’ perceived motivations for and effects of their blogging.

I am sending the survey to a number of bloggers, and I would like to invite you to participate in it as well. Participation should take approximately 15 minutes of your time. I would appreciate it tremendously if you would be willing to take the survey. If you decide to do so, please follow the link below:

I would be very happy to share the findings of my study with you once it is completed!

If you have any questions or comments, please don’t hesitate to contact me!

Thank you in advance,


Gunfighter said...


Where are you, these days!?!?!

Vinny said...

I actually commented on this days ago, but it never posted. New computer, funky interface... darn Macs!

If I had done things differently, I would never have turned out like I am now. If I had graduated the 'right' way, gone to college at 18... I would never have met my wife, who I adore, nor had the kids we have, who make me crazy but are worth the stress.

I probably would have dropped out, worked at McDonalds, become a district manager or something, and done that for the rest of my life. Either that, or worked at a bank and become a branch manager.

Neither of those guys would become bloggers. One of them would have been baked all the time. The other would drink his paycheck.

Of these things I am certain. No backsies!