Sunday, September 10, 2006

One beautiful morning in September

One beautiful morning in September. Five years ago.

It all changed.

How I look at the world. How I look at my leaders. How my heart breaks every time I see my beloved skyline. It pains me more than I thought possible every time I see that spot where the Towers used to stand. I will never get used to seeing that empty space.

And whenever I see a movie about NY with the telltale shot of the World Trade Center as the epitome of NYC. My heart skips a beat and a wave of sadness takes over.

I’m certain that the media will be filled with images from that day and I understand that CNN is going to run their coverage in real time from that day. I don’t want to watch… but something tells me that that I will.

I’ve lived in NY my whole life. I grew up in the suburbs north of the city. I’ve lived there, worked there and always considered it home. I’d been in those twin towers more times than I can count. Took every out of town friend there and was proud to show them off. When I got my first real camera at the age of 16, I went to the observation deck and took an amazing shot of the nearly parallel Manhattan and Brooklyn Bridges just as the lights were coming on. Appropriately, that photo hung in my grandparents’ home for years since my grandfather was the one who taught me how to handle a camera.

I watched it all unfold live on TV five years ago. I happened to be home that day and like many others, I was glued to my TV that day and for days after. I wept for every person I knew who lost someone and even for those that I didn’t know. A week or so after the towers fell, I learned of a college friend (who I hadn’t seen in more than 15 years)…who never made it out of the towers that day. And I wept for him, and for his family, and his daughter who would never know first hand what a good man her father had been. But mostly I wept for the waste of it all. People who did nothing that day but go to work…or get on a plane.

Tears aside, I am angry. I’m angry that our government let this happen. I do believe they did. Conspiracy theorist? Perhaps. The most moving film I’ve even seen has been Loose Change. If you haven’t seen it, I urge you to. It will change the way you view the events of that day. I hope it causes you to question what we’ve been led to believe.

Five years and one day ago, I know I didn’t question things the way I do now. I never cared as much about who got elected the way I do now. And I never feared for the future of this country they way I do now.

Tomorrow I will be glued to my TV and my computer again. I will listen to most of the reading of the names and I know my eyes will fill with tears for the families of nearly 3000 people whose lives were changed forever one sunny September morning.

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