I, as well as others, fell pretty strongly that this was selfish on so many levels on the part of the mother. But Neil at Citizen of the Month wants to know why it is selfish when no one says anything if a 70 year old man fathers a child.
Double Standard? Yes.
But there are so many realities in place here:
- women are often the primary caregivers for young children (except in my house and a rare few others)
- At 67 it is unrealistic to think that this woman will be a part of her children's lives as long as say, if she were 37.
And having been through the whole IVF thing personally, I want to know what doctor in their right mind agreed to this? Apparently she had it done somewhere in Latin America but REALLY... this doctor needs to have his or her license revoked.
Is there no code of ethics? Did no one think this might not be such a good idea?
But was it her right to do.... grudgingly, I have to say yes.
Others are commenting that she had the right to do whatever she wants with her body and while there are few people who are more Pro-Choice than me... I have to disagree here. She did not do this on her own. They were someone else's eggs (because, let's be realistic here...she is 67!!) And there was a fairly large team of experts making it all happen.
Being pregant with and caring for newborn twins zaps the stuffing out of even the most motivated of mothers...and no one is more motivated that someone who's been through many years of infertility (like me) AND YET... I still can't wrap my brain around setting out on that journey at 67.
What was she thinking??
There are no good answers.
6 comments:
I was one of those people who think it's selfish for EITHER parent to old when they conceive. Like you, the primary caregiver has to be young enough to attempt a guarantee that he/she will be around (barring an accident or illness) as well as keep up with an energetic kid.
I question whether a female body (which has to depend upon borrowed eggs) is healthy enough to proceed with a high-risk pregnancy. Also...now that advanced paternal age is being linked to autism in offspring, I'd say that puts the big kibosh on Tony Randall being a dad again. Of course, he's dead so that might make it harder.
As the grandmother of those beautiful twins (and the joy of my life) I would be worn out in a week if I to be a mother at 67. What was she thinking? Maybe she has full-time help? You think?
I've been thinking about your post all week. Great read - BTW.
I agree...it seems selfish. I was exhausted with 1 child at 37, but TWO at 67? What was she thinking?
That being said, if she is healthy enough to carry twins at 67 - maybe she'll live to be 97. I know my grandfather of 89 has more energy than most of the college students I work with.
What puzzles me is HOW?! Did this woman NOT have menopause? Or did the IVF somehow reverse that?
It still seems wrong to me - and if my health insurance premiums were fitting the bill for her IVF and specialized care - I would certainly say so!
Thanks for getting me thinking!
she had it done somewhere in Latin America but REALLY... it was in Houston ups
I've had this hanging around a while, but I've finally decided to comment.
I'm done. Cooked. Finished. There comes a time, I believe, when children are a thing of the past for you. Grandkids are different.
I think if it were meant to be, the average person would still have the ability to do it. Ergo, if menopause has removed the ability to give birth from most women, there MUST be a strong genetic and historic reason.
Why are we fighting nature?
She actually had it done in Southern California. You can read some of the other articles where the doctor spoke out about it.
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