What is he thinking?

I just got back from a business trip last night so I watched the President's speech the other night from the comfort of my company paid hotel room. And my consideration for my fellow guests is probably the only thing that kept me from screaming at the TV.

I've long since stopped asking myself "what was he thinking" because it's painfully obvious that he just plain...isn't. But thankfully, in our 24 hour news cycle, there are others to remind him and us of what he's already told us.... so in case you had any doubts that King George would rather rewrite history than be hassled to remember what he's said before... take a look at Keith Olbermann's commentary from Wednesday night just before the speech.


And really, what is a surge but George's way of sticking out his tongue and saying "yup, I"m gonna send some more innocent lives in harms way. And you can't stop me." ?

A debate about older mothers

There's a great little debate going on over at Citizen of the Month about the woman in Barcelona who just gave birth to twins at 67. (by IVF obviously).

I, as well as others, fell pretty strongly that this was selfish on so many levels on the part of the mother. But Neil at Citizen of the Month wants to know why it is selfish when no one says anything if a 70 year old man fathers a child.

Double Standard? Yes.

But there are so many realities in place here:

• women are often the primary caregivers for young children (except in my house and a rare few others)
• At 67 it is unrealistic to think that this woman will be a part of her children's lives as long as say, if she were 37.

And having been through the whole IVF thing personally, I want to know what doctor in their right mind agreed to this? Apparently she had it done somewhere in Latin America but REALLY... this doctor needs to have his or her license revoked.

Is there no code of ethics? Did no one think this might not be such a good idea?

But was it her right to do.... grudgingly, I have to say yes.

Others are commenting that she had the right to do whatever she wants with her body and while there are few people who are more Pro-Choice than me... I have to disagree here. She did not do this on her own. They were someone else's eggs (because, let's be realistic here...she is 67!!) And there was a fairly large team of experts making it all happen.

Being pregant with and caring for newborn twins zaps the stuffing out of even the most motivated of mothers...and no one is more motivated that someone who's been through many years of infertility (like me) AND YET... I still can't wrap my brain around setting out on that journey at 67.

What was she thinking??

There are no good answers.

My final word on Resolutions

What is it about turning the calendar to January that inspires us all to want to be better people?

Doesn’t everyone want to lose weight, stop smoking, be more organized, (insert resolution here) all the time?

We could certainly resolve to be a better person when turning the calendar page to…say… Thursday.

And Janaury does always represent that feeling of a fresh start. I get it. But after hemming and hawing about what I’m going to do better this year… I’m finally just resolving to:

Do better

And if I don’t… then tomorrow is another day to:

Do better, now.

And so on.

And in that category of Doing Better… here the things I’d like to be better at:

• Better at eating (actually, I’m kinda great at that now which is part of my problem)
• Better at taking care of myself and those I love
• Better at parenting
• Better at staying on top of things before they become crises

And I want to be a better friend. Life gets in the way, and I’ve found myself losing touch with people that I didn’t’ mean to lose touch with. And I’m not as close as I want to be with some others that I see all the time. I want my children to understand how valuable and precious good friends are.

So today,
And tomorrow
And the day after that

I’m going to do better.

Masquerading as a Stay at Home Mom

I took off from work this week to use up my remaining vacation days and now that the hoopla of the holidays is more or less over, I'm masquerading as a stay at home mom.

With the kids off from school, I have to say it's more than a little challenging. It would be so easy to just let them stay home and play with all the toys they just got but somehow I feel like a horrible parent if I don't have something planned every day to at least give them cause to get out of their pajamas.

Yesterday, a friend of mine came over with her two kids and while she and I got to catch up, our kids entertained each other for a few hours. The day before that, I took the girls to one of those indoor playgrounds. And today we are off to the library and then to Grandma's house for a change of scenery.

Somewhere in all of this I have to manage to run an errand or two with sufficient bribery to keep my two five year olds in check. I can see where this gets old very fast!

But I'm actually kind of enjoying it, I have to admit. And my house is certainly cleaner than it's been in a long time. I think we are going on 4 or 5 solid days with no dishes in the sink and no crap on the counter. A fact I felt I needed to point out to my husband who was less than optimistic that the trend would continue into next week when I go back to work. Hmmm. I think I smell a challenge here.

Next week it will be back to the grind with some new changes at work that will hopefully make my job a little more manageable.

But I'm not even thinking about that now (REALLY). I'm off to the library.

Things I should be doing instead of writing in my blog

It's 12:15AM. The dishwasher is running, the washing machine is running and the dryer is running. I SHOULD be sweeping or dusting or cleaning a bathroom since we are having a dozen people over for christmas on Monday. I'm rationalizing it as...I'm waiting for the dryer to finish so I can get the good comforter out while it is still warm.

And no sense in really cleaning a bathroom when my two 5 year olds will just destroy it tomorrow. right? (Please say..."right")

Problem is that tomorrow is going to be shot. At 10:30 we have to be at my mother-in-law's church for some Christmasy thing they are putting on (not a pageant...I know what those are... said the Jewish daughter-in-law). Then we are going to another christmasy thing over at Digital Father's church to see his kids in a pageanty thing at 3.

Meanwhile, my mind will be on not the spirit of the season but whether I have all the ingredients for everything I am cooking on Christmas Day. (no offense to Digital Father and his kids who we love!)

Oh, and of course, on what questions the kids will ask related to Christmas. I'm kind of dreading that. I have enough trouble explaining the facets of my own faith to five year olds.

The other day, while waiting for the bus, one of my daughters asked me what it means when someone dies. I felt like deer the headlights because it just came out of nowhere. She is the queen of nonsequiters.

OH, and it was 8:15 in the freakin morning!

So I started with flowers and bugs since I know she's seen dead flowers and bugs...and paused while I hoped and prayed that this was all she needed to feel complete.

No such luck.

HER: "What about people? Why do they die?"

ME: "Well, sometimes people die when they are very very old...and sometimes when they've been very sick. (think think think....how can I explain this to her without scaring her or having her think that everyone is going to die tomorrow?) People's bodies are a little like machines with lots of working parts, and when some of those parts stop working and can't be fixed...then they die."

HER: "And then what happens to them?"

OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD.....WHERE is that BUS??? I was so unprepared for this conversation and it was on a rare morning that my husband didn't come with us to wait for the bus...so I had NO backup.

And did I mention that it was 8:15 in the freakin morning??

ME: "Well, lots of different people believe lots of different things about what happens after you die. And since no one's ever come back to tell me...I'm not really sure, honey. (yes, I realize this was the coward's way out but I was not prepared to debate Heaven with a 5 year old)

HER: "so they go away FOREVER?"

ME: "Yes, but it's ok. You won't have to worry about it for a very long time.... and look, there's your bus!"

HER: "OK, Mommy...BYE"

And yes, I sat in the car for a good three minutes after wondering if this little explanation was going to come back to haunt me later in life when my daughter needs therapy because I didn't provide her with something to believe in.

I can't wait to see what my girls come up with tomorrow!

The funniest post I've seen in a long time

I stumbled on this blog...as I do most blogs...posted on Babble.com which proclaims itself to be for urban parents (which I am not).

Nonetheless, I thought this post about and the audacity of perfect strangers and the questions they feel are not too rude to ask was so funny that I nearly did a spit-take.

Please read it here but be forwarned that some of the language may not be appropriate if your boss (or child) happens to be reading over your shoulder.

Things I think I could do for 30 days in a row

I've really been thinking about this and the list is pretty lengthy of things I'd like to do to better myself (at least in a 30 day burst) Not that I'm so flawed as to need so much work...well, ok...perhaps I am.

So on the list of things I think I can do for 30 days is:

• Wake up early
• Exercise
• Eat better (as in give up cookies or ice cream or some other item detrimental to my waistline).
• Empty my email inbox (I'm terrible at this now and as a result I constantly get that annoying administrator message at work that says "your mailbox is full").
• And probably a bunch more but these are the ones that make the top of the list.
  

The problem is that I want to do ALL of these things but I'm smart enough to know that doing them simultaneously is setting myself up for failure.

So which one will I choose? Hmmmm.

I think I'm going to shoot for the exercise thing since I know that this is the thing I need most to incorporate into my life.

Stay tuned. I can't really wrap my brain around this until after Christmas on Monday.

December in a dual faith household- Part 2.

The balancing act between Chanukah and Christmas is going pretty well so far. The kids are exicted about the whole candle lighting thing and the fact that they get a little gift each night. Best of all, we found what I am proclaiming the BEST CHANUKAH/CHRISTMAS KIDS BOOK OF ALL TIME.

Really.

I went on a little tirade the other day because I wanted to get my girls a new book for the holiday and of course there are about a bazillion Christmas books covering everything from our old friend Santa to Mary in the Manger...and one teeny little shelf of Chanukah books.

And all of them sucked. Either they were picture books with merely pictures of dreidels and menorahs...or they were detailed accounts of the battle of the macabees complete with all this talk of the destruction of the temple. A little too heavy for my five year olds, if you ask me.

Thankfully, someone read my mind and several days later while wandering through the local Barnes and Noble, we stumbled on a book called "Light the Lights! A story about Celebrating Hanukkah and Christmas" by Margaret Moorman If you know anyone who struggles with the challenges of celebrating both holidays, go out right now and buy this book for them. I can guarrantee they will think it is wonderful. There is nothing preachy about it. It simply tells the story of little Emma who's father is Jewish and mother is Christian and how they celebrate the holidays as a family.

It's exactly what I was looking for.

What can you do for 30 Days?

The guys over at Blogfathers had an interesting post the other day about resolutions….now that New Year’s is almost here. But more importantly, they had a link to Steve Pavlina’s web site which proclaims itself Personal Development for Smart People.

OK. "I’m a smart person, so this is obviously directed at me", I thought.

And boy was it ever.

Read the post at Blogfathers because they did a great job of putting this all in perspective but..He covers everything from How to give up coffee to how to find your life’s purpose. I think the latter is taking things a bit too far but the one that interested me the most was his 30 Days to Success article. The basic premise is you can do anything for 30 days. Want to lose weight? Great, commit to a better diet for 30 days. Want to give up TV ( or watch less)? Great, commit to it for 30 days. I mean who can’t do something for 30 days? It’s not a lifetime commitment. But if it turns into one, then …Great. But if not, at least you have the satisfaction of having accomplished something for 30 days.

Check out his site, and my all means read this guy’s bio because if ever there was someone who was a walking example of someone who turned their life around… it’s him.

I haven’t decided what “resolution” I will test with this little exercise. What can you do for 30 days?

December in a dual faith household

It’s tough to be a Jewish kid this time of year when everything around you is Christmas trees and santa claus. Not to mention the occasional nativity scene. Now that I have kids of my own, I wonder how any Jewish parent gets through the season without their child feeling like a second class citizen. As a kid, I BEGGED my mother for a Christmas tree. “We could call it a Hanukah bush and put a Jewish star at the top. It would be soooo cool.” And every year the answer was a resounding “no, Jewish families don’t have Christmas trees.”

Yes, Adam Sandler, I did feel like the only kid in town without a Christmas tree.

My act of protest? I married a Christian. So there!

The first Christmas that my husband and I were together, imagine my excitement to finally have a tree. But I quickly learned just how clueless I was to all the pomp and circumstance that goes along with Christmas. Standing in a store with an arm full of 18 different types of ornaments, garlands and bows (oh, my) feeling like “Janey Jew” not having a freakin’ clue what I was doing. Not to mention that neon sign I was sure was blinking over my head that said “JEW”

Bet you Christians out there don’t realize just how clueless we are when it comes to:

• How to Choose a Christmas Tree
• How to hang lights
• How to hang ornaments for a balanced tree
• The difference between indoor lighting and outdoor lighting
• How to take down and store said lights
• How to dispose of a Christmas tree after Christmas is over
  

And so on

Because all we have to know is:

• One menorah
• Eight candles
• One each night
• Light them from right to left.

Hanukah over? Put menorah back in the box until next year.

Aren’t you jealous now? None of this putting up and taking down business. Out of the box…eight days later…back in the box.

My husband (God bless him) gets very into the season. Last week he rearranged the furniture in the living room in anticipation of where the tree will go. He’s hung the lights and a five foot wreath on the house. (A task which he does when I’m not around because he knows it makes me nuts to think he is up on a ladder or hanging off the roof to do it.) No Jewish husband ever fell off a ladder hanging lights.

For my part as half of our dual faith household, I've had to learn about real trees vs. fake ones, white lights vs. colored lights and tree skirts.

The problem now is that my five year olds are old enough to be aware of the holidays. And Hanukah just doesn’t have the same appeal. We have no cool icons associated any of our holidays. Who can compete with Santa Claus? Something tells me that the Macabees, despite their valiant cause and the whole mystery surrounding the oil…are no substitution for SANTA CLAUS.

We need a guy like that. Do you think I can get Hanukah Harry a good agent?

It all comes down to time or money

My husband and I are often puzzled by how frequently we find ourselves saying "why isn't there any food in the house? Am I exaggerating? Maybe just a little… I mean after all, how much food could two five year old girls possibly eat? You'd be surprised.

We feel like we are constantly going grocery shopping. Either him, late at night after the kids are in bed…or me on the weekend dragging two weary 5 year olds behind me. As a rule, I don't mind going grocery shopping, but somehow, by the time I get to the register, I often become a raving lunatic as I've just spent 15 or 20 aisles going…"come on, girls. Walk faster" or "STOP IT" in varying degrees of urgency and volume. So that by the time I actually get out the store, I feel like the world's worst parent and I just want to throw something at someone.

So the last time I was at my local supermarket, I noticed that they were offering a shop at home service where you can order online and then either pick up or have the stuff delivered. The cost is minimal. Ten bucks to order online and an additional 10 if you want them to deliver it. And for me, another "excuse" to be online. (as if I needed one!)

In a nutshell, order online, pick a window of time about 4 hours later to pick it all up, show up at the store and pay for and claim your already bagged groceries.

No wandering the aisles in search of something. No impulse buying. No standing in line behind that person who decides to write a check. Or the one who is arguing with the cashier over the validity of the expired coupon.

Just show up and get your stuff. What could be better than that?

Admittedly, I did forget a few things that I might have remembered if I was walking up and down the aisles. But I certainly found a better use for the time on a Saturday afternoon with my kids.

$10 well spent. Try it if you can.

Technorati

I'm spreading my wings and listing this blog in a bunch of places. You'll soon see me listed on BlogHer and with a profile on Technorati. Technorati Profile

Word of Mouth Marketing


Obviously I’m a bit of a techno geek.

One of my favorite bloggers, Sarah and the Goon Squad had a link on her site not too long ago for a free sample of something. I forget what. Turned out it was a link to a marketing service where you can sign up to receive free samples of stuff. Now, who doesn’t love free stuff? So of course I signed up.

Today I got a little survey from the same site, asking me how I typically decide what to purchase and if I influence others with those decisions. (Do I ever!) They obviously don’t know who they are talking to. I’ve been known to research things TO DEATH! Cameras, phones, washing machines, you name it. I read the expert reviews, I go to epinions and read the consumer reviews, I ask around. I go to a few stores so I can touch and feel the item in question. And I narrow it down to two or three items… Well, you get the picture. And you can bet that if I have an opinion about something, everyone is going to hear about it.

Anyway, there was a link at the bottom of the survey with a logo for WOMMA, which is the Word of Mouth Marketing Association. Given the nature of the survey I just took, I feel like I am the poster child for WOMMA. But the stuff I found on their site even made me go “WOW, some of this stuff is brilliant.”

Take for instance the whole concept of Second Life. There’s an article on blogworks (a great marketing blog, by the way), that discusses how advertisers are jumping on the bandwagon with this service and creating brand awareness in this simulated world. Brilliant, except for one thing. Are the people addicted to Second Life leaving their house long enough to purchase these items in the real world? If so, then, yes…this is indeed brilliant marketing. Even the CDC is getting in the act with a place in Second Life for flu prevention and treatment info. The CDC!!? Who’s next? AARP?

(On a little side note, I find it a bit preposterous that people are paying a monthly service to create an avatar and a life for that avatar. But that's just me. I just file it under the same category as Dungeons and Dragons and fantasy baseball.)

Never before in the history of advertising has there been so many direct lines and two way communication between marketers, consumers and even politicians. Obviously, if you are reading blogs, this means YOU. Want to have influence? Too late, you already do.

It used to be that if you really loved…or in most cases, really hated a product or service, you could call a random customer service number and complain to a nameless voice or take out your little pen and paper and write a letter of complaint. Now, not only can you email the company directly but you have the power to influence others by posting to a blog, posting a message on a board, commenting on a site or any variety of other ways. And apparently the marketers are listening. And I’m sure tickled that they needn’t bother as much with those expensive focus groups.

Marketers (smart ones, anyway) are scouring blogs, message boards and services like myspace to see what you think. And better yet, adjusting their marketing efforts accordingly.

I feel pretty powerful knowing that. Don’t you?

What will you do with that power? Who will you influence?

(stepping down off of my emarketing soap box now)

Every decision comes down to these three choices

I’ve been at the same company for nearly 7 years. Longer than I’ve been anywhere. The main function of my job is as project manager for my company’s many many web sites. In a nutshell, my problem is this… the “powers that be” really have no clue what it takes to create these masterpieces, and while they sit around with those “big ideas” SOMEONE, has to actually do the work. So I’m consistently short handed.

My direct supervisor got fed up and just took another position in the company. And the guy who she reported to is not only clueless most of the time about what I do but (more importantly), powerless to help me get some additional resources.

So, I sought the counsel of someone who I used to work for, thinking she might be able to offer some guidance. An hour long pep talk came down to these three choices.

• Suck it up and see where the chips fall
• Work to create a solution to make it better
• Get out

And I left her office thinking that nearly every decision we make in life comes down to these three choices. Think about it…. Don’t like your job? See above. In a bad relationship? See above.

As I see it, each has it’s own pros and cons. If I suck it up, then I can look forward to more of the same. Wonder how much I can take before my head explodes. Or my dept head might actually be able to pull a rabbit out of his hat in the new year…. Doubtful

I’ve already tried the “work to make it better” option and it’s gotten me nowhere.

So that leaves me here… hating my job. Reluctant to leave because of some perks and benefits that I’m fond of. But really having no choice. ACK!

Life is too short to hate your job, right? Guess it’s time to dust off my resume.

Anyone want to hire a hard working Internet Marketing Manager?

I’m sure I’ll have more to say on navigating the job market. I suspect it will suck.

Elections as a sport

Today, I am giddy.

I am not a big sports fan (much to the annoyance of my father and brothers). And I never really GOT the excitement over watching your team win…or the “WE WON” mentality that goes along with being an avid fan.

Today I get it.

Elections, like most Super Bowls, are often kind of dry and very seldom close. Sure there’s the occasional presidential election that goes down to the wire… But most of the time, there are no big surprises, no need for instant replays and not much overtime.

Last night, I stayed up WAY too late watching election results, giddy with excitement that my team was finally edging out ahead. I was not only cheering for my home team but for everyone’s home team. I truly felt like the sports nuts I like to make fun of who can quote the stats of their favorite players. I couldn’t believe I was so engrossed in up to the minute results from states I have never set foot in.

Today, I feel like my vote counted for something.

Go Dems, Go!

The Lasting Effects of Schoolhouse Rock

I have a warm place in my heart for Schoolhouse Rock. If you’re like me...and in your forties.. this is how you learned the parts of speech (are you humming “a noun is a person, place or thing?”), how a bill becomes a law (still humming with me?). And it is of course how I can still recite the Preamble to the Constitution.

Today my daughter was playing a game on the computer that reviewed nouns, verbs and adjectives and it inspired me to sit my five year olds down and make them watch Schoolhouse Rock on DVD. Or maybe I just wanted an excuse to see if I still remembered the words.

I do, and it made me smile. I hope some of it rubs off on my girls.

Want to see how much you remember? Check it out here.

Politics on my mind

First a brief follow-up to my previous comment about “staying the course” Here’s an interesting clip where the republicans AGAIN claim that it was never a stay the course strategy in Iraq. I especially like how Bartlett throws in a few other “winning” pieces of verbiage like “cut and run” (one of their favorites) and “head in the sand” Nice.

And on a more optimistic note, I’m kind of excited that Barak Obama is considering a run for president in 2008. I think he is a great speaker, has charm and charisma and would likely do a great job. I would vote for him. However, I worry that those people who were so worried about “non issues” last time around like gay marriage…might not be ready for Obama. Some people will never be able to get past the color of his skin. Those same people aren’t ready for Clinton or Feingold either. (for all of the obvious reasons) Who does that leave for the Democrats? Kerry? Gore? Biden? Gore claims he won’t run. Kerry would have to sing a stronger song. And Biden…well, I’m not sure about him yet although he seems like a strong enough candidate.

The thing that bothers me most about the choices is that we all know that the choices many people make before they step into that voting booth are not always based on who would truly do the best job. But who they most identify with.

I would like to see an honest, politically incorrect take on the choices but I don’t know who would be nonpartisan or brave enough to give it.

And what about the republicans? Looks like McCain is the obvious choice and there was a time when I might have thought that as Republicans go, he isn’t a bad choice. But I think he’s being manipulated by his party just to get his name on the ticket.

Step up to the plate, Democrats. Learn a thing or two from the other side about how to get your message across and STAY on that message.

Maybe Barak Obama is the man to do it.

Because I expect more


I’ve realized that I am harder and expect more from certain groups of people. This epiphany came the other day when a Jewish acquaintance of mine told a story about someone else of the same faith who-- by her mere actions was perpetuating every Jewish stereotype you can think of. His point was that it made him angrier than if some rude racist had made the same remarks.

I too am Jewish and when another Jew does something stupid I feel like it makes us all look bad….Like Joe Lieberman.

When our government does stupid things, I’m angry that we ALL look bad to the international community.

But I’m even harder on women… because the stupidity is usually more obvious. I expect other women (especially those I know personally) to be smart about their actions and not perpetuate the myths of things like “women can’t drive” or “women just aren’t any good at math and science”. And I have ZERO tolerance for the “damsel in distress” act. If you don’t know how to do something that is one thing… but the helpless thing has got to go.

One woman I know (albeit not well) will whine about all the things she has to do until other people just do stuff for her so she will shut up. (Despite the fact that she has a maid and a nanny…which is another reason we are not really friends).

Do I hold women to a higher standard than men? (No, I don’t buy the helpless routine with them either.) But I do expect them to act for themselves, think for themselves and seek answers whenever they need to. I hope to pass that along to my daughters.

Sure, life is easier if you never do things for yourself, but then it’s not nearly as rewarding.

Aching for a new toy

Admittedly, I’m a bit of a geek when it comes to gadgets and technology. Not as much as some but certainly more than most women I know and more than my husband. While other women yearn for $700 shoes, I yearn for PDAs, cell phones and iPods. I was giddy when I got my fiber optic internet connection and jumping for joy at my VoIP phone connection. It’s a sickness. I accept that.

So here are the symptoms plaguing me now… I got my first Palm Pilot about 5 years ago and used it religiously for awhile until a new job got me thinking that I needed to go back to a paper organizational system. I see that phase now as just a momentary lapse of reason. I’m back now. No more carrying around that archaic binder with that paper stuff inside. The problem is that now I want a new Palm. Does the one I have work just fine? Yes. Do I really need a new one? No. And yet, I find myself scouring the internet reading reviews, looking for the release dates of new items and looking on Ebay for bargains.

Then there’s the added ache of wanting a new cell phone. My two year contract with Verizon isn’t technically up until next August but they are taunting me with the fact that I am eligible for a new phone NOW. If I get a new phone, it means re-signing a contract with them for two more years which I don’t know that I’m prepared to do. And T-mobile’s phones are so much cooler…. :sigh: if I want to switch to T-mobile, I will have to wait until next August. That’s pure torture.

Perhaps I’ll go buy a pair of shoes instead.

Why I love Keith Olbermann

Unlike most others in the media, he isn’t afraid to say what many of us feel. Better still...he does so in a way that makes me want to stand up and applaud. Watch his commentary from last night. Or if you prefer, please at least read the transcript.